By Marli Naidoo
Some people get along splendidly with their in-laws, but this is not always the case. For others it sometimes requires a lot of effort to even just be in the same room as their in-laws, However, in these situations it is possible to survive Christmas with your in-laws and even be able to enjoy some moments by applying the following tips:
Be willing to be flexible without being controlled by others. This is the season to be thankful and generous, and it will benefit everyone to adopt an attitude of humility.
Christmas is not a good time to be fussy. Eat as far as possible that which is put in front of you, don’t turn up your nose, and especially don’t make any negative comments about the food. Contribute to the food, either financially or by physically helping with the preparation of the dishes.
Take turns to do the dishes, and make sure that in general everything remains clean and tidy and under control.
Remember that each family has their own traditions, and respect them. Together you can create combined new traditions, and still retain the original ones.
Good manners make a big difference. Show your appreciation and gratitude, and in this way fill the atmosphere with friendliness and caring. Be on the look-out for ways in which to compliment your in-laws. If your mother-in-law always lays the table beautifully, you can compliment her and ask for tips.
Be prepared to share your spouse. Allow him to spend time with his parents and siblings, without making him feel guilty because he is not spending all his time with you. Don’t allow jealousy to ruin your Christmas.
Show your husband that in your eyes he is number one. When debating about your husband’s barbeque skills versus your brother’s, you should absolutely support your husband. However, do it in a playful manner, without stabbing anyone else in the back.
Remember that one of the ways in which you display your love for your husband, is by respecting his family.
Try to not be touchy, and don’t attend a gathering with preconceived animosity.
Participate in activities and discussions, even if it requires a lot of effort.
Let go of expectations. Don’t expect compliments and acceptance and get angry when they are not given.
Don’t just talk about yourself, but ask questions. Be interested in your in-laws’ history, anecdotes and jokes.
Decide ahead of time how gifts are going to work. It shouldn’t be a competition. Discuss budgets and expectations.
Don’t use Christmas day to sort out problems. These can wait until after the new year. Remember that you are busy creating memories for your children. Let these memories be beautiful, filled with love, warmth, fun and great food.
Focus on the family: https://www.focusonthefamily.ca/content/8-expert-tips-to-survive-christmas-with-the-in-laws
Psych Central: https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-tips-for-managing-in-law-stress-during-the-holidays/
Dave Ramsey: https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/christmas-conflict-8-ways-to-get-along-with-your-family-this-season