By Nico Strydom
We have all heard that a relationship is hard work and one of the biggest challenges is the problem of communication.
This can lead to feeling of frustration, loneliness and total helplessness. You might feel that your partner does not understand you at all or that you cannot discuss anything without it leading to an argument.
However, communication problems can in the most cases be overcome. If you don’t address the problems it could lead to misunderstanding and cause you and your partner to drift apart. If you feel that you cannot express yourself to your partner, it may result in you thinking that your partner does not understand you and can hamper your commitment to each other.
Following are a few communication problems that can cause a wedge in your relationship:
Learn to listen: A partner wants to feel he or she is being heard. Therefore, really listen when your partner communicates with you and make sure you understand what he or she is trying to tell you. You could, therefore, after you partner has made a statement, relate it back by saying something like: “I hear you are trying to tell me that … is that correct?” In this way you can ensure that you don’t twist your partner’s words or hear them completely incorrectly.
Scream and yell: This only evokes strong emotional reactions from both parties, therefore try to remain calm and discuss an issue rationally.
Unrealistic expectations: Our partners cannot always know how we feel or what we want. Make sure you know what you expect from him or her. Try using phrases such “You will never …” or “You always do …”.
Don’t tell your partner how to feel: Even if you feel your partner is acting wrongly it is essential to not prescribe to him or her how to feel or to act and rather try to find out why he or she acts or feels this way.
Don’t dwell on it: It is important to discuss something that bothers you with your partner as soon as possible. Should you not bring it up immediately, it means you have time to brood over it and could result in you making the problem so much bigger in your head and in the end tackle your partner about something completely different from that which bothered you initially.