By Marli Naidoo
The loss of respect for each other can break down a marriage fast. The good news is that this lost respect can be restored and you take each other into consideration again.
When you respect each other you accept that you differ and that you think differently about things, you respect personal boundaries, have a mutual understanding about what is acceptable in your relationship, and there is balance and fairness. If there is a circle of balanced give and take, it is a sign of a respectful relationship.
Choose the restoration of respect. This is a conscious decision that is not easy to make. Do you want to justify your reactions, or are you going to stand back? This is not going to be easy at first, but try to be less sensitive.
Command respect by setting boundaries and not accepting contemptuous treatment. Many people become doormats by allowing other people to walk all over them.
Accept that your partner is not perfect.
Fill your marriage with positivity. It takes four positive interactions to cancel out one negative one. Compliment your partner regularly and sincerely. Do small things for your partner to show that you care for him or her.
Grow your partner in the eyes of your family, children and friends.
Speak with care and mindfulness. Remember that you really love the person you are talking to.
Be aware of your tone of voice, discuss important subjects at the right time, and be neutral by not making your partner the problem. You are a team that are solving the problem together.
Check your family values again to make sure that you are still on the same page.
Be friendly and courteous towards one another.
Respect each other’s boundaries even if it is difficult. You cannot force a person to do things that he does not want to do.
Communicate regularly and allow each other to be honest without taking offense.
Respect is like a muscle that becomes stronger the more it is exercised.
Respect yourself, and this will form the basis of mutual respect.
Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/wander-woman/201605/can-you-restore-respect-once-you-lose-it
Couples Therapy Inc: https://couplestherapyinc.com/13-ways-to-show-respect-in-marriage/
Save my marriage program: https://www.savemymarriageprogram.com/2017/04/29/marriage-problems-signs/